Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Ring ring ring goes the telephone
The lights are on but there's no-one home
Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two
And I'm done
I'm hanging up on you

I can't keep on waiting for you
I know that you're still hesitating
Don't cry for me
'Cause I'll find my way
You'll wake up one day
But it'll be too late

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you
-Madonna

Mood:  irritated
I'm beyond words tonight. I had a nice chat with Victoria today and have come to my senses. I need a break. I can't keep on going on miserable anymore.

It's late, I'm frustrated, I'm upset, and mostly, I'm sick and tired. Not only was the car ride home tonight refreshing, but I think this weekend really knocked some sense into me and made me open my eyes to see what is really there and what isn't.

Tell me one thing that kills the mood more than opening your eyes during a makeout session to see your s.o. watching t.v....seriously. Not the first time either. I'm so glad that I can still keep him interested. I've got to grow up, look hard, and stop being blindly lead.

Sometimes songs are the only remedy for explaining feelings. Aint it the truth.

Baby tell me where’d you ever learn
To fight without sayin’ a word
Then waltz back into my life
Like it’s all gonna be alright
Don’t you know how much it hurts

When we don’t talk
When we don’t touch
When it doesn’t feel like we’re even in love
It matters to me
When I don’t know what to say
Don’t know what to do
Don’t know if it really even matters to you
How can I make you see
It matters to me

Maybe I still don’t understand
The distance between a woman and a man
So tell me how far it is
And how you can love like this
’cause I’m not sure I can

When we don’t talk
When we don’t touch
When it doesn’t feel like we’re even in love
It matters to me
When I don’t know what to say
Don’t know what to do
Don’t know if it really even matters to you
How can I make you see
It matters to me
-Faith Hill



I’m an emotional girl
I can’t help myself
Sometimes I laugh
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I do both and I don’t know why
I got a passionate heart
And that’s just the way things are
You and me could give it a whirl
But I’m warning you, boy
I’m an emotional girl

I like music that’s loud and lights down low
I like driving my car too fast
And dancing slow
Some folks may say I’m too extreme
‘cause I can’t stop once I start
But I never could do anything
With half my heart
-Terri Clark

Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: 90.50 FM alternative
Today was my last day of observations in the Mineral Point School district, and I am really relieved. I can now sleep in an extra 30 minutes on Thursdays.

Tonight I'm headed to do a ropes course with Carlyn in the PAC. Should be exciting. I'm not really sure what I'm in for, but we'll see. :)

I have a week to decide if I want to keep my turbo Talon, or if I want to sell it...oh geez...the decisions. I'll see...I've got some thinkin to do. Winter sucks, that's all I can say. I hate having a beater for the snowy months...I miss my car! :(

Hmmph
Mood:  not sure
Why is it that relationships fade so much? Is it just because you learn to experience everything together that it just gets old after awhile? Why can't that magical feeling of first going out stay lit?

So often I think about this idea. I remember how everything was three years ago, and it makes me so sad to think about the way things are now. It just doesn't seem to be going anywhere. It's not that I'm unhappy at what I have right now, I'm unhappy about the things my relationship lacks. I remember talking online used to be so much fun at first; something I looked forward to so much and now, I can barely keep interest for more than three minutes it seems. I gues I know him too well. Those butterflies I used to get every time he called, I think they've long flown away, and the little gestures that used to be there, well, they haven't been there for a long time. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the companionship I have right now, because I do appreciate it. It just has become kinda boring. I don't feel like I have anything in common with him anymore and I wonder if things are really ever going to turn out the way I hoped for. Sometimes I can't help but think we're at two completely opposite ends of the spectrum.

God, I just wish it were like the good old days, you know, the first few months. Everything seemed so wonderful, so new, so everything. Three years past and I feel like I'm married only there's no committment, and I'll honestly be lucky if six years go by and that ever happens. Maybe that's a good thing.

Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside someone else's body? Like, you ask yourself what in the world you're doing? I feel like I'm a five years older than I truly am, trapped in the body of an seventh grader. Lately, I've been trying to look towards the future for answers, when I keep asking myself what I did in the past and how different things could be now. Kind of stupid questions, right? I mean, no use thinking about what might have been.

I think my problem is that I've gotten so use to one idea and basing so much around one person that I haven't learned to expand and find myself, and that's why lately I've been having such a hard time with just about everything going on around me. I wish I could just pack up my things, start over somewhere completely different. No matter what I do, things will always be complicated for me - no matter what, and I bring it upon myself.

I wish being in love could feel like it does in the movies...ya know, that sweep-me-off-my-feet feeling, butterflies 24/7, inseparable. I just want to be happy the way I used to be.

Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: 97.70 FM country...the best stuff on earth
I've got a busy night boys and girls!

Homework help at 5
Class from 6-9
Read World at 9 with Sammi and then who knows!

It's so crappy out, I just want to veg and cuddle. No time today though!

I can't wait until Thanksgiving!

Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Chillaxin
What a crappy day out. I decided to sleep and not go to class...it sounded like a better idea.
I had this really weird dream last night about having a baby. Kinda strange, I think I woke myself up...that was really weird because Sammi told me a story about someone she knew having a baby...long story. Sammi..."It's a sign!" Weird. Anyways.
So, I'm writing my English paper on pet peeves. Mine's slow people driving in the left lane and not moving over. Great three page paper on my experiences. So much fun.

The talk with Dad went REALLY well last night. I'm really excited for January's class. We'll see how things go from there.

I feel fat. I'm going to eat.
Later.

Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Fun weekend
This weekend was so much fun, and it seemed long too. Pat's parents came down to visit and we hung out at the hotel, went swimming, went out to eat...amazing. Friday night's pool time fun was hilarious! Between the chicken fights and the naked butts...it was a hell of a good time. :)
Saturday we headed back to Pat's house to look at a car he was interested in. Today we went to look at it, and I've never seen him so excited before. He was like a little boy at Christmas time. Adorable. So needless to say, Pat's got a new, sweet looking ride with T-tops. I'm so happy for him!
It's past 6:00 and I'm kinda dreading calling Dad...more talk about next semester. I've been not looking forward to tonight for the past week. Wish me luck, I've got some hard core convincing to do. Not to mention a crap load of home work. Paper due Tuesday I haven't even started on and work for my teaching class. I can't wait until Thanksgiving. Okay, I'm gonna get going now...maybe I'll check in later. Toodles.

Mood:  cheeky
I can't wait to see Pat's parents! They're Platteville bound this evening. :)

So, it's offical...Dubuque Iowa here I come. Starting January until February I'll be in Iowa taking my CNA certification class so I can go on to become an RN! I've had enough of this not knowing what I want to do crap. Every five seconds my major changes, and this time, it is time. It's official, I'm going to do nursing, and I can't wait!

Sometimes, I've learned, you just have to do the best you can to make things work out. Hell, I should know; I've had more than a few ups and downs and obsticles in my way...but I'm hanging in there. These next few years might be rough, but I'm determined. It's sometimes really hard to be able to balance occupation with my family aspirations, and a relationship, not to mention school work. I'll figure it out though, as long as I'm happy in the end.

I just had to write a quick blurb. I'm so excited and today, after talking with a few advisors, I've regained my hope for this coming semester. I can't even begin to tell how excited I truly am...but scared, because I have to face reality and start paying my own bills...OMG, I'm growing up!

Later. Have a great night. :)